Ice in our veins: Ten cool facts about ice

Why, fret fans around the globe, have there been so few posts lately? One word: ennui.  Frankly, we’re getting just a wee bit bored with water, a topic that has truly been done to death.

The fact is that we are really print people at heart—ink in our veins and all that. So, after a long and of course querulous all-night brainstorming session—complete with the big white pad on the easel, acetous colored markers, congealed pizzas (one vegetarian and the rest pepperoni), warm cokes, and cold coffee, (but no goddamn bottled water)—we decided to launch a print magazine! We all agreed that it would be new, daring, edgy, trendy—and above all, not about water.

Oh yes, and cool, very cool, cool enough to be acknowledged, dare we hope, by such arbiters of cool as (Hmm. . .the linked article is about water. Is it possible that, by rejecting water first, is ahead of the cool curve on this one?)

At about 3:30 a.m., possibly inspired by the warm cokes, it hit us: What could possibly be cooler than ice? And thus Icescape, the monthly magazine for all things that are frozen water, was conceived–but unfortunately not born. At this juncture, we should be proudly announcing the inaugural issue and inviting you to the big launch bash we’d planned. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond our control—mainly the impossibly impoverished imaginations of potential investors—have forced us to indefinitely postpone our beloved Icescape project. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re putting it on ice, thank you, thank you.)

We know–we’re disappointed, too. As consolation, we offer the following list of ten cool facts about ice.

  1. Ice is the name given to any one of the 15 known crystalline solid phases of water.
  2. The most recently discovered form of ice, Ice XII, was found just a little over a decade ago.
  3. In 400 BC Iran, Persian engineers had already mastered the technique of storing ice in the middle of summer in the desert.
  4. Black ice is not black. Because it is almost totally free of the air bubbles that give common ice its gray-white color, it is transparent.
  5. Vanilla Ice’s real name is Robert Van Winkle.
  6. Why ice is slippery is still a hotly (or coldly) debated issue.
  7. At extremely low temperatures such as those reached in Antarctica, ice loses its slipperiness.
  8. Ice is tricky (and dangerous).
  9. A growler is smaller than a bergy bit.
  10. Ice is usually snorted, swallowed, or inserted anally. Huh? Oh, wait, that’s “ice,” not ice. So item No. 8 in this list advises you to stay off the ice, and this one advises you to stay off the “ice.”

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